New Technology (not available on Roi-Namur)
Today’s topic was not written while on Roi. I have a few more great articles from my life there to post but as a service to my friends who are still incarcerated on Roi I thought I would share with them some of the modern marvels that are enjoyed here in the US that are not yet available on Roi (or at least they weren’t available when I lived there). The technology I will write about is not quite the high tech stuff you could enjoy reading about on www.lightning-alley.com but some more common items that just were not available on Roi.
The first is what I will refer to as the Electronic Toilet eruption because it sounds funny…. The toilets aren’t actually erupting (except after some chili) but they(toilets with electronic sensors) exploded in popularity from when I first got to Roi in 2001 until I left in 2004. Sure they were around some before then but you’ll find them almost everywhere now. The early ones didn’t quite have the flush mechanism down so that when you leaned forward to grunt it would flush on you. I am always sure that the guy before me is suffering from a highly infectious and deadly disease that I could catch when the toilet water splashes me at that time. But, now a days, they have the sensor calibrated so that the toilet will wait till you take a few steps out of the stall and start to turn around to see if it failed to flush so you don’t leave any evidence for the next guy. I especially appreciate the electronic urinals because with the old one it is hard to get your foot up high enough to flush it. I have a firm policy of never touching anything in a public restroom with my hands. I’ve seen too many men bolt out of the stalls with out washing their hands with soap and I’m not talking about an impoverished third world nation like Mississippi for example, but I’ve seen it happen right here in the USofA. So I also appreciate the electronic sinks and electronic towel dispensers so I do not have to touch anything at all. We didn’t have anything of that sort on Roi.
While I’m on the subject of toilets, I’ll also mention another technology we didn’t have on Roi and in fact I only found in one bathroom in the entire Marshall Islands the whole time I was there. I am talking of course, about the paper toilet seat cover, or disposable cowboy hat as it is known in bathroom graffiti. The one and only place I found this wonderful protection was in the dentist office bathroom on Kwajalein. I think the dentists must have wanted to show their commitment to health and hygiene. The few times I would go to Kwaj for a dentist appointment I always made it a point to use their toilet whether I needed to or not just so I could enjoy this convenience. One reason you do not find these items a lot is in the Marshall Islands they commonly use the ocean as their toilet. I guess it has its own automatic flush. I’m not going to name any names but one engineer I know of got sited for peeing on a tree on Kwajalein shortly after the bar closed. He tried to explain to the officer that we do it all the time on Roi but they are a lot more prim and proper on Kwaj. Also it should be mentioned that another guy did it right before him and that is what gave me I mean him the idea and his other friend a cop was laughing the whole time this other very serious cop was giving him the ticket.
Moving right along, another innovative technology that people get a long with just fine without on Roi is the cell phone. On an island the size of Roi you really don’t need a cell phone even if it was available and it is generally believed that the cocoanut telegraph works just as fast or faster than texting. The cocoanut telegraph was our word for gossip, and was often referred to gossip among our wonderful island hosts. Cell phones for those who have been on Roi a long time, are portable telephones that 97% of the drivers in Tucson use constantly to make nail appointments while they drive very slowly in the passing lane. I don’t understand why people feel the need to talk on them so much. I get along just fine by rarely using it. Recently I discovered text messaging. Some clever engineer came up with a mode where when you hit a key the telephone will guess what you want to say. In my case, it always guesses wrong. For instance I tried to type Hi and it guessed giggle. It took me a while but I finally figured out there is another mode where it types what you want it to. This mode is quite slow for me but it has the distinct advantage of sending comprehensible messages. I think the former mode is only understood by teenage girls.
Another item that has become very common here is the broadband internet. On Roi we only had dial up and all the sites were filtered by the Army to prevent us from seeing anything nasty. We could not even read the Onion sometimes.
The last innovate technology that readily comes to mind that is not available on Roi is the automobile. On Roi we had some pick-em up trucks, a van or two, and golf carts. For the most part I used a bicycle to get me where I wanted to go. I even had a little cart that I could load up with dive equipment or groceries and pull around the island. It was quite handy. If it was raining and did not appear as if the rain would stop in the next 10 minutes I would use the island bus to commute to work. I was 20 pounds lighter when I lived on Roi and I attribute that mostly to my bicycle and perhaps to the availability or lack thereof, of delicious food. Speaking of delicious food I am getting hungry for supper so I think I’ll go cook up some. I’ll leave you with one last thought that I am pretty sure one of my favorite newspaper columnists, Dave Barry of the Miami Herald would agree with, the Electronic Toilet Eruption would make a great name for a rock band.
Technorati Tags: technology, toilets, electronic toilets, Dave Barry, Miami Herald, electronic toilet eruption, automobiles, cell phones, poor driving habits, cowboy hats, Marshall Islands, Kwajalein, Roi, Roi-Namur, travel
2 Responses to “New Technology (not available on Roi-Namur)”
 Comment by Richard Jones September 13th, 2007 at 9:02 am |
Haha, nice!!! Though I have to say the bicycle and lack of cars thing isnt all bad either. I thoroughly enjoy working on and tinkering with cars but I could most definitely survive on a beautiful island without one. One of my dreams would be to be able to move to a gorgeous island (say Hawaii or something) in a nice bungalow type setup and have a bike and not much else for the mode of transportation. For me paradise is all about the journey and whats there… hiking, the beach, swimming, relaxing, reading, nature in general… In that way, I really envy your time on the islands!!! Electronic flush toliets… I could live with or without. Throwing coconuts at people to communicate, now thats a distinct advantage over text messaging to me.. and so much more personal!!! |
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Comment by Richard Jones September 14th, 2007 at 8:04 pm |
Speaking of technology… if you go check your Google Analytics stats you will notice that the traffic has significantly jumped for just half a day. Moving the code to the Main Page Template did the trick. Things should start to look up traffic wise for Roi Rat Journal!!! |