The average Joe on Roi-Namur is not allowed to have a weapon. Nor is the average Eric, Matt, or Glenn. I mention those names because just about every man and maybe one or two women on Roi have one of those names. It makes it a little easier to remember names. There was one Glenn on Roi who was allowed a weapon, a Marshallese police officer known at the station as the “Real Glenn” as opposed to me who was generally known as 2NGlenn because of my neurotic insistence that my name be spelled correctly though I was also called “Off-road Glenn” by at least one guy for an incident on Pohnpei involving a chicken and a rent a car. But I digress, and for a good reason, the story I am about to tell you has virtually nothing to do with Roi-Namur other than the guy who told it to me once had a friend who lived on Roi (me).
My friend whom I will refer to as Russell told me over lunch today that his nephew recently passed the red neck test. Naturally, being a city born Yankee, I asked him how one passes a red neck test and Russell who is from east Texas related the following story. First he noted that one should always be concerned when a red neck asks you to hold his beer and you should be down right afraid, apprehensive, beside oneself, bothered, clutched, distracted, distraught, distressed, disturbed, fearful, fretful, frightened, hung up*, ill-at-ease, nervous, on edge*, overwrought, perturbed, solicitous, tense, tormented, troubled, uneasy, upset, uptight, worried stiff* if he follows that up with “watch this.” In his nephew’s case it turns out that at a recent routine doctor’s visit the doctor found a bee-bee lodged in his groin. This explained the very visible pain he was in but not how he entered that state. If I got the story right, the nephew had told his mother that he fell while out in the woods and a piece of metal had somehow broke off and stuck there. But it is difficult to explain the presence of a bee-bee. So he finally admitted the truth. His friends were using his belt buckle for target practice. I know cowboys wear large buckles but I can’t believe I could ever be comfortable with the idea of letting someone take pot shots at a belt I was wearing no matter how large the buckle. But I’m a Yankee and a bit of a coward and perfectly sober at the moment so perhaps all those factors make me look at it a bit differently. I am certain that if I did consent to allowing my belt to be used for target practice I would take it off first. Russell did not mention if his nephew had been drinking with Dick Cheney at the time.
Most of my original stories of my life and adventures on Roi-Namur have already been published on this site so I decided to start a new feature. You the reader can ask me questions, preferably about life on Roi or there abouts, and I will answer them. I have already opened up my mail bag and here are some of my first questions.
Q: Mr. Rat, I am planning on retiring next year and am considering moving to Tucson. How can I find in-depth information on a variety of topics having to do with Tucson? - George W B of Washington, DC
A: I’m glad you asked me that George, if I want to know anything about Tucson, whether it would be golf courses, parks where I can walk my dog (if I had one), great restaurants, hiking or a variety of other subjects I go to www.tucsoncomplete.com.
Roi Rat Journal is now registered on Technorati. I’d also like to take this time to express my appreciation to my good friend Bob White and my mother for sending me some of my lost articles that now appear on the web-site. Also, please support our sponsors who pay for my free server space by clicking on the links below (it is free to click on them). I’d also like to give a tip of the hat to Rich of lightning alley for all the help he has provided. This site would not exist if it was not for his help and encouragement. Komol tata to everyone.
Today Rich helped me add photo galleries to our site. One thing I think is reflected here is that wherever I have traveled throughout the world I have seen many beautiful sites but what I remember the most are the people I have met. At this point my friends gallery has the most photos and that is a tribute to all the great people I met there. Many of whom are not shown on the gallery yet. But if you send me your photos I can add them.
OK, Roi-Namur might not be exactly paradise but it sounded like a good slogan for the site. This site contains stories I wrote home to my family and friends while I was living on Roi. They are written from the point of view of an American who was discovering a new culture both on Roi and on the surrounding islands that are inhabited by the wonderful Marshallese people. In doing this, I sometimes focus on behavior that seems strange to an American but is reasonable to a Marshallese. But I try to do this in a lighthearted yet respectful manner. I apologize in advance if it comes off differently. I intend to post these somewhat in the order of what they were originally written to the best of my knowledge. I think the observant reader will see that my understanding evolved over time. There are some obvious misconceptions in the earlier articles that I later gained a better understanding of. I think it would be great if you are Marshallese and you posted a blog describing your impressions of America or Europe. Roi and Kwaj residents past and future are most welcome to add blogs. I only ask that they contain no offensive materials (either political, obscene or profane). I also hope to add a photo gallery soon. I would love it if you posted photos or sent photos to me to be posted. It is my dream to one day publish these articles in a book. If you are a publisher with a suitcase full of money feel free to contact me at the above addresses.
